True Colors-Yellow

      "We All Live in a Yellow Submarine"

I know the picture is of a battleship but we did go on board a submarine as well recently. Emily is also a big fan of the Beatles and "Yellow Submarine" is one of her favorite songs. My goal this month is to help others be more accepting individuals like Emily. In order to do so I have to tell the stories. This is one that I am glad ended so well. 

Over Spring Break I decided to take the kids to do something fun, of their choosing, within reason. Luke chose the USS Alabama Battleship in Mobile, Alabama. Hitting the road early for our two hour trip, Emily did well. Asking tons of questions of course, but no meltdowns. As we arrived to the massive boat, the kids were in awe. We paid our admission and walked on board the deck. Emily was very excited about the water surrounding it. The other two kids ran ahead into the ship with Emily

and I following to start our tour. They scurried down a ladder to explore the floor below. Without thinking, I started down the ladder only to be stopped in my descent from Emily's cries of "No! I can't!" I realized at that point our two hour drive may have just been ruined. I called down to the other two to wait up. Upon hearing Emily's cries they popped back up the ladder with complete annoyance. Emily wasn't going down the 10 or so steps, there were no elevators and I wasn't going to let the other two roam without me. So this is what happened as it typically happens if I want to be able to participate in outings like this with all three kids...

Emily ran around crying loudly. When I say ran, she ran away from me. All the while crying loudly, "No mama I can't!" All while people are looking. Now here's the part where I have to make decisions for Emily. Not everyone can do this. As a matter of fact I'm not sure there are more than a handful of people who can handle her when she gets like this and successfully push her past her fears. I have read books and been told by therapists about exposure therapy. Essentially you make an individual face their fears in an attempt to diminish them. This is typically done over a period of time. Now, I don't always have a long time with 3 kids. This trip was one example. I knew that Emily was excited about the boat. I knew she was excited about the water. I knew she wanted to go down the ladder. After about 15 minutes of her running around screaming and crying and me trying to coerce her down the ladder we were both at a level of intense anxiety and panic. In a moment of desperation I thought that maybe telling her the ladder was just like a pool ladder would connect and she would willingly go down. The water outside the boat must have been the connecting factor because at that moment she agreed to go down. I'm about 90% sure she thought she was going swimming and while that could have brought on another meltdown, it was a chance I had to take. She cried nonstop down the ladder. It took her a solid 5 minutes to go down the 10 steps. But she did it. As we explored the ship there were many more ladders we had to climb up and down. After the 4th one, she was a pro. I was so proud that she had overcome her fear of heights to be able to enjoy our trip. 

The moral of this post is that we all could live in a yellow submarine. We could all be stuck under water in close quarters. But we can't stay in there forever. It's very challenging when Emily has an anxiety attack. I have forced her to do many things that she has initially told me No on and almost 90% of the time the outcome is good. She is proud of herself for overcoming her fears and accomplishing new feats. My wish is that others were accepting of our challenges and understanding when they see a meltdown like this in progress. Anxiety for Emily has to be treated differently from her sensory overload. It's a lot of work and it takes someone who really knows her and she trusts to help her work through these times. I am glad I get the chance to do that. 

Thanks for reading~

Jessica