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"Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me"

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas Miracle: Part 1

Twelve years ago my life changed. I have heard so many people say that when their first child is born. The birth of Anna Grace was no exception. I have told this story many times over the years and am overcome with emotion every time. The feelings and memories are still very vivid for me.

I have always wanted to be a mom. Scott and I had been dating 2 years when I became pregnant. It was not the way I would have liked my fairytale to begin. Despite the awkwardness of having to share the news, we planned a wedding within a month. We were both baptized the week before our wedding. We both agreed that we wanted to enter into the marriage with the Lord in our life. I was over the moon about having a baby. I gave up all soft drinks, ate healthy and took those horrid prenatal vitamins even though they made me sick. I started my pregnancy a little underweight and was told to expect to gain 25-30 pounds. All of my pre natal visits went well and right before Thanksgiving we found out she was a girl(although I already knew and had her name picked out). Scott was really hoping for a boy. They holidays approached and I started feeling a little odd. My face would feel flushed at the most random times. I had already gained a good amount of weight. More than I wanted actually. I worked the week before Christmas and noticed that I had gained 10 pounds in that one week. I complained about it to co-workers who said I was being ridiculous about my weight. I knew it wasn't right because I wasn't eating that much. On Saturday we made a 6 hour round trip to my grandmothers. On the ride home I started to get a headache. By the time we reached my parents house my feet were swollen beyond normal and I felt really bad. We drove home and when we got in I was feeling extremely confused, and could hardly see. Our dog got out of the fence and I just could not function enough to go after him. I went inside and attempted to lie down. Scott called my mom(who is the resident baby aficionado). She said to call the doctor.

They wanted me to come in to labor and delivery. We got to the hospital around 9:30 pm and they hooked me up to monitors which showed my blood pressure was at stroke level and my liver was about to burst. My OB came in from a Christmas Party and I apologized repeatedly for disrupting his night. He ordered a injection to speed up the development of Anna Grace's lungs, told me to rest and he would see me in the morning. Rest I did NOT. I could only lay on my left side to try and lower my blood pressure. When he came around at 7am and asked how I was feeling, I said "Fine. I think I'm OK to go home". He then told me that my life was in grave danger if I did not deliver immediately.  I didn't know much, but I knew that a baby born at 26 weeks was not good. I had an epidural and was wheeled back to surgery at 9am. Because the circumstances were so dire, they allowed my mom and Scott in the delivery room. They prepared them for the worst. They could lose both of us. Because it was such a rush to prep me, my epidural only took on one side. I had feeling! Anna Grace was born December 19, 1999 at 9:38am weighing 1 lb 12oz and 13 1/2 inches long. There was no sound as they pulled her out. She was so long and thin. I remember a team of doctors and nurses whisking her away and me trying very hard to turn to look at her to make sure she was alive. As they were stitching me up I became horribly sick and started vomiting. They proceeded to sedate me and I don't remember much for several hours. When I awoke, everyone was telling me how perfect and beautiful she was. I wanted to go see her so badly but was not stable enough to be moved. The lights had to be kept off and noise to a minimum. They brought me a Polaroid picture and I remember commenting how big she looked. I was unable to see her for almost 18 excruciating hours, until I was stable enough to be moved to a room. I was so excited!

Nothing I had ever read or seen could have prepared me for what I saw...

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Stranger Danger

This is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind for sometime now. There are so many stories in the news about kids with Autism and elopement. Emily has never been a wanderer, thank goodness but has been known to run from certain situations.

When Emily was between the ages of 2-5 she had severe stranger anxiety. Looking back it was appropriate for her developmentally. Our entire life was affected by this. It became difficult to go anywhere because of meltdowns. We worked hard to help her overcome these difficulties. She became quite the social butterfly(mostly around adults). In Kindergarten she would take breaks and walk around the school talking to different teachers and staff. She quickly memorized names and would speak to them whenever she saw them. We would go to the grocery store and she would have to ask the cashier what their name was. She went from complete fear to no fear. We welcomed this as it made our outings so much easier. Plus is was cute to see her stick out her hand and say "Nice to meet you."

At the age of 9 her social skills have progressed in such a way I never thought possible. She is still very friendly to all adults including strangers. Her social play with kids her own age has increased as well. It is very heartwarming to see. However, in recent months while watching her approach strangers to introduce herself I have been thinking that there has to come a time when I need to become cautious. She is always with me except for her time at school. I know that she will be with me forever, but I also have a responsibility to make her as independent as possible. I don't know at what point or if I should even attempt to talk to her about the potential dangers that lurk in our society. My typical kids both have an understanding of these dangers. I do not want to put fear back into Emily's mind but I need to know that she will be safe.

She has grown so much and come such a long way...

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Gratitude

In honor of Thanksgiving I am writing this post:

Gratitude-  the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful

Gratitude is not the same as indebtedness. While both emotions occur following help, indebtedness occurs when a person perceives that they are under an obligation to make some repayment of compensation for the aid.[7] The emotions lead to different actions; indebtedness can motivate the recipient of the aid to avoid the person who has helped them, whereas gratitude can motivate the recipient to seek out their benefactor and to improve their relationship with them

I have had many discussions about gratitude and indebtedness in the past few months. I am one who loves to help others and expects nothing in return. My thanks comes from the satisfaction I feel in providing the aid. I am aware that there are many who need something in return for their time and kindness. Whether it be a simple thank you, a pat on the back, a public show of thanks or some other token of appreciation. I have actually encouraged recipients of aid recently to show their appreciation to those who have helped, because I know that it is beneficial to both parties. It gives the person giving, a sense of appreciation and the person receiving a sense of thankfulness. However, I do have a hard time with those who think that they are "owed" for doing something(which many times is doing nothing). That leads to feelings of indebtedness and sometimes strains relationships. I avoid that at all costs, as relationships are more important to me than ANY public show of appreciation.

Most people know that I like to work quietly behind the scenes and do not want/nor need attention for helping. In fact makes me very uncomfortable to be thanked publicly for doing something that comes natural and from my heart.  However, I am always appreciative of the gratitude shown by others for my involvement. It warms my heart when I get private messages, emails and phone calls thanking me. I had an intense discussion yesterday with someone, who I have been helping, when they told me they were going to publicly thank me! First off they knew the reaction they would get as I am always saying "DO NOT MENTION MY NAME". There are many reasons behind my insistance against this public attention, but the main reason is that I just don't feel it necessary to say thanks publicly. They had already told me thanks MANY times privately and I just did not see the need. I am hoping they respect my wishes as I have received all of the gratitude I need and do not want to enter into the world of indebtedness.

I will continue to strive to make my actions speak louder than words and expect nothing in return!

Jessica

Friday, October 21, 2011

Why I don't "work"...

I am the oldest of 4 children. I have been looking after children for as long as I can remember. My mother had an in home daycare for kids(about 4 kids on top of her own 4)when I was in elementary school. In junior high school she became the director of a daycare at the small private school I attended. I babysat on weekends from the time I was 13 and worked in the daycare after school when I turned 15. I love kids!

I worked my way through college at a bank and at a medical billing office. When I got pregnant at the age of 25 I had no doubts I would go right back to work and my child would go to daycare with my mother. I could not have felt more comfortable! When Anna Grace was born at 26 weeks weighing 1 pound 12 ounces, it still did not register in my mind that I would not go back to work. We were told she would be in the hospital for months and that when she came home she would need to be isolated from other children to prevent life threatening illnesses. A common cold could have killed her. Knowing they would not let me live at the hospital, I went back to work part time 2 weeks after I had her. Still reeling from the jolt of having a baby so early and dealing with blood pressure issues as well. I lasted about a month. She spent 2 months in the hospital and we brought her home weighing 4 pounds 4 ounces. I was elated to finally have her home and the thought of leaving her to go back to work never crossed my mind. As a matter of fact I stressed over the idea that I may have to eventually go back for financial reasons. Through faith and help along the way, I have been at home ever since.

I have struggled with the importance of contributing to my family financially over the years. The subject has been brought up many times and has often caused many arguments. I could not have left Anna Grace at daycare, and by the time Emily came along there was no point in me returning to work just to pay for childcare. There were tremendous sacrifices made by Scott in giving up a career he loved to support his family. I am forever grateful to him for allowing me the opportunity to be a mommy full-time! A job layoff nearly did us in, but we survived.

I have recently become involved in selling Scentsy to provide Buddies for Autistic kids. I use my commission to turn around and send out Scentsy buddies that help calm kids on the spectrum. I know that we could use the income, but I feel so passionate about giving back. I was also asked to be on the board of a non profit organization called Very Special People,Inc(a part of A4cwsn many of you hear me talking about). As with any non profit, it is about giving back. So while I don't technically "work", my time will be spent raising awareness for things that I am passionate about and there is not a salary that could compare to the feeling of pride that comes with that!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dogs~Man's Best Friend

This post has been a long time coming...

We are a canine loving family. I had a Shih-Tzu named Buddy for 15 years. He was the sweetest dog ever and it was the hardest thing I EVER had to do putting him down. It was like losing a family member. I grieved over the loss for almost a year. Everyone kept telling me to get another dog right away.  I felt as if I would be replacing him by doing so, so I kept saying no. Buddy was a comforting presence to the kids. They never really played with him though since he was older.

Almost a year to the date, we decided it was time to love another dog.  Stewart is a Shih-Tzu as well, but looks completely different than Buddy! I knew that Anna Grace and Luke would love him and play with him, but I worried about Emily. She has always been a little afraid of dogs that jump on her and I knew that a puppy would be very active(unlike Buddy). She was not interested in him at all for the first 6 months. As he calmed down and outgrew some of his puppy behavior, I noticed her following HIM around and her watching what HE did. We had some bad weather one day and Emily and Stewart were in my bedroom. Stewart had gotten under the bed and Emily was sitting right beside him looking very intently at his eyes and saying something I could not understand to him. I left the room and came back in just as a firetruck went by with the sirens on. Emily(who has supersonic hearing) went and got into a corner in the bedroom near the bed between the wall and dresser and said to herself, "It's Ok". She sat for a long time and then emerged, went into the kitchen to get a snack, and brought it back to her corner. She had NEVER put herself in that spot before.

I few weeks later, I could not find Emily. I was slightly terrified as she is UNDERNEATH me at all times. After calling her name for several minutes, I finally found her in my closet with Stewart. Stewart likes to sleep in our closet when we are gone during the day. It is his comfort spot. Emily had obviously been watching him and knew that if he felt safe in there, she would too. She began going in there often, usually taking her iPod touch or iPad with her. It is her "safe place" now!

Emily has severe anxiety and separation has always been an issue for her, The fact that she can go into a room by herself without me being close or within earshot is HUGE! I know that assistance dogs are trained to pick up on cues from Special Needs Kids. The fact that Emily picked up cues from Stewart reminds me of what her Neurophychologist said about her brain. She has a prehistoric brain that relies on her surroundings and watching others to process data and learn about the world around her.

MUST LOVE DOGS...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

You are the Music in Me

I am a music lover. I am not musically gifted like my oldest, Anna Grace(who can play music by ear) or like Emily who can carry a tune very well, despite the fact she has a speech delay. I do however "think" in music. Some people are visual thinkers, some are auditory(maybe I fall in this category) and some are tactile. I can think of a song to go with just about any situation, comment or thought. This week, I started having fun on facebook. When driving in my car, I heard a heavy metal rock song and turned in into a post on facebook. "Metal Monday" I had "Take it back Tuesday" and One-Hit Wonder Wednesday. Today is Theatrical Thursday(my fav). Music inspires me. It drives me. It makes me feel better.

I have always encouraged music with my kids. They have participated in Kindermusik, taken piano lessons, and done music therapy. Emily's school is a Shelby County school for disabled kids. I found out last year, that they did NOT have music for those kids. They have drums come in from another school occasionally to perform. When they have plays, because the majority of kids are non verbal, they have a middle school choir come in. I was quite upset that these kids were not giving the opportunity to experience music in a way that could benefit them in so many ways! You don't have to sing to enjoy music. Actually you don't even have to hear to enjoy music. I am happy to report that yesterday Emily came home and said she went to MUSIC! She was so very excited(as she loves music as much if not MORE than me) and was trying to repeat the song they had learned. Her heart was happy singing and doing the motions.

Today is Theatrical Thursday. I am including a clip from the very first Broadway play my kids were exposed to when they were around 3 yrs old. They saw this version of Peter Pan(on video) before they ever saw Disney's version. Believe it or not, they prefer Broadway.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OWAfvd7WY0

Monday, September 26, 2011

Say, Say, Say

There is some sort of cold going around our house. Everyone has scratchy throats, coughs and sniffly sneezes. Luke lost his voice yesterday. He woke up this morning and whispered that he needed to speak sign language today. He brought home a list of signs from school last week and has been practicing. Anna Grace also signed up for a sign language class at school this year! I am amazed at their interest in communicating with others. We are blessed that Emily is verbal, however she has several friends who are non verbal. A little boy in her class is hearing impaired and uses signs. Emily has come home several times trying to repeat the signs she has seen him use at school. Anna Grace and Luke have always asked me questions about kids with disabilities and I have always been honest with them. I wanted first and foremost for them to have empathy for kids like Emily. All of my kids are talkers. They talk NON-STOP! Car rides consist of all 3 talking or babbling at the same time. I often feel guilty for needing to tune them out!  It warms my heart theat they have an interest in sign language without my encouraging or coaxing them to learn. They truly have it in their heart to communicate with others in a way that most of us don't know. It makes me extremely proud!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Courageous versus Complacent

The sermon at church a few weeks ago was based on a series about being courageous. This particular sermon talked about courageous versus complacent. It really struck a chord with me. I join the millions of other individuals who have become complacent in everyday life. Walking down the road that is familiar and safe because I lack courage to make a change. Accepting my life and those obstacles that appear without doing much to change them. Complacent, because I am scared of making mistakes or dissapointing others.

This sermon was after I decided to help the Buddies for Autistic Kids campaign, which was a huge jump out of my comfort zone. It took more courage than I thought I had. I have come to a point in my life where I feel the need to make a difference in the world(or just my own little part in the play).
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts," (William Shakespeare)

Becoming courageous is something that I will continue to strive towards. Making changes within myself to overcome complacency. I have a cross-stitched Serenity Prayer that hung in my grandmothers house. I always think of her when I hear the word Courage.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


I hope you will make a change.
Jessica

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Happy Birthday Emily Elizabeth Lawson

Nine years ago today, the girl who would forever change my life was born. My water broke a little before midnight on Labor Day. Emily would be the only one of my 3 children, that I would get to experience the "pains" associated with labor! Ironic. Not wanting to wake a sleeping 2 yr old, Scott or the Doctor I cleaned! The contractions were really not bad. Around 5 am I took a shower and called my mom(who is my resident expert on babies since she had four and then raised many more: ). We got to the hospital a little before 9 am and Emily was born by cesaerean section a little before noon. Her shining glory was short-lived though as her father tried to upstage her entrance into the world. After they took Emily next door to clean her up, and were stitching me up, someone stuck their head in the OR and said the dad had just passed out. Most of the attending nurses ran out of the room, leaving me with the two doctors who were admiring my stomach muscles(from the inside)? According to the video that was running, Emily was also left alone while everyone ran out to check on Scott, who did not pass out, but dislocated his shoulder!

I could write a book about the past 9 years of her life, but I think I will wait a few more years. I know her story will have a happy ending!

Jessica

Thursday, September 1, 2011

An old note-January 6, 2011

Well it happened...my occasional fall apart over my Emily. It hit me hard yesterday for many reasons. I'll start with how things were:

Before Christmas Emily was doing remarkably well at school,home and everywhere. The chaos that comes with Christmas school parties, plays,etc did have some effect on her, but she fought through it!  I was glad to be able to give her a little "down time" over the break. We have a very structured routine at home. Wake up, eating, bath, bedtimes are the same EVERY day! People have often made fun of me because my rigidity over these routines. For Emily, it is imperative that there is sameness in her daily routine and she knows exactly what we are going to do. Since her transition to full days at school back in October(first time in years that she has gone to school consistently a full day!!!) I have noticed an even STRONGER need for minute by minute structure at home. Weekends are not long enough for it to have a negative affect on her if she gets to free play or watch movies at her leisure. HOWEVER, the Christmas break was TOO long, and she regressed in several areas of behavior and academic skills since I had no structured plan in place. Sending her back to school on Tuesday brought anxiety to us both.

It has been a difficult 3 days, although not the worst BY FAR we have seen from Emily.  YESTERDAY hit me like a ton of bricks. I took her with me to the Parent/Teacher store to spend Anna Grace's free birthday email money. I typically only buy things for Emily in there, but thought I would actually use the money to get Anna Grace something and let Emily get something small. Emily picked out two smencils(smelly pencils) and I got Anna Grace a book. As we went to put our things on the counter, the sales lady looks at the book and starts talking to Emily about how the author is going to be signing books in the store next month. She clearly thought that the book was for Emily. Emily, oblivious, and just excited about her smencils, walks away from her. To all outward appearances, Emily looked like a "typical" 8 year old. I did not bother to explain to her that Emily suffered from an Autism Spectrum disorder,severe anxiety,OCD, developmental delays and could barely read at all. In fact the pencils that we were buying Emily could just recently be used to write her name!! I paid for the items and we went to Occupational Therapy.

When I got home last night I was checking my emails. I had one from a friend with a link to Beth Moore's site. Beth Moore was reccommending a site(something she RARELY does) by a woman who discusses "hidden diagnosis" in children. I found it a sign from God. A blessing sent from a friend to offer me hope and understanding. I got in bed last night and turned on CNN and there before me was "BREAKING NEWS" Vaccination's linked to Autism a fruad! Something I never believed anyway, but just one more thing to top my day off. No tears last night, but I had a good cry in the shower this morning. A place where I often release my emotions over the struggles of raising a special needs child. My tears are washed down the drain with the water and I feel better when I am done.

I have no idea what the future holds for Emily. I tell people SO often, that I see Emily and I spending lots of time traveling when the other two kids are grown and gone. She has her mothers roaming spirit. She makes me laugh so much and that is clearly what gets me through the hard times. Just this morning as we passed the Cook's Pest Control place, she says from the backseat " Hey mama, there's the Macy's Parade"! Anytime she sees a bright yellow star, she automatically goes back three years to being in New York and watching the parade from the street. Maybe we will win the lottery one day and we can just live in New York and watch Broadway shows all the time. Or either live in Orlando and go to Disney World all the time. Two of her favorite places(mine as well!)

Just needed to get these feelings off my chest...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Growing up

I guess it is inevitable...my kids are growing up! Anna Grace is in her room 90% of the time she is home, retreating from the rest of us. Content to come out just for food and then right back in there! She is thoroughly enjoying the new found freedom of having her own room. She deserved it. I have a rule, that all doors remain open. Since school has started back, there have been times when I have allowed her to go to her room to read or study quietly and close the door. Our house is very open and noises carry which make it difficult to concentrate.

Emily has anxiety about doors being closed. She doesn't like the separation. Hence the reason I NEVER use the bathroom in peace! The other day, she was being very quiet. Anna Grace was in her room with the door closed studying. I went upstairs and down the hall and found the door to Emily's room closed! It freaked me out a little. It was suspiciously quiet in there so I quietly opened the door and found this
She was doing her homework like her big sister! GROWING UP! Emily's birthday is this Saturday, and she will be 9. It doesn't seem possible that she is almost 9 years old. In many ways, she will always be young. I have always said that is one of the many blessings of having a child with special needs. They just don't seem to age as fast as typical kids. I get to enjoy the child like mannerisms a lot longer!

Luke is 4 and has surpassed Emily in several skills. They have always been the closest of my three children. I have said many times, that it is because they were on the same developmental level. I wonder as Luke grows up and continues to surpass Emily, if their relationship will change.

Growing up is inevitable, but it makes me sad in so many ways.

Thanks for reading!
Jessica

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Echolalia-You talking to me?

Echolalia can be one of the funniest and worst symptoms of Autism. Emily has been affected with echolalia for as long as I can remember. This afternoon as I was cleaning up the kitchen, she came in and said "Your attitude stinks!"(YOU TALKING TO ME) Normally I would agree with her, but today was a good day. I immediately knew she has heard someone say that at some point today. I also knew that it probably was not directed at her, because she also had a good day(8/8 smiles : ) Gave me quite a chuckle!

There were times before she was diagnosed that echolalia(we didn't know that's what it was called at the time) was funny as well! She loved music, and had an uncanny ability to get the tunes of songs down, but not all the words. Of course after a car ride with my then teenage sister when she was 3, she picked up a few words to a song...I like Big Butts. She walked around saying those four words CONSTANTLY. Never forget the time I pulled up to a drive-thru window and rolled her window down so she could wave to the lady handing us our food. Instead of waving, she said those four words to the lady with the rounder backside! (YOU TALKING TO ME)Mortified I quickly rolled up her window and smiled
and drove off.

 There was a time before she was diagnosed, that echolalia was not so funny! Around the age of 3, she started saying 2 really bad words. Words we just don't say. Now I'm not saying my kids have never heard me use a few choice words, but this was one I KNEW I didn't say! Scott and I went for months blaming each other for her FREQUENT use of the GD word. I remember being mortified when she randomly spouted it out in front of my mother-in-law(YOU TALKING TO ME) who I know went instantly home and prayed about it. I knew that kids often repeated bad words, but this was different, more intense! One day Emily was watching Annie(one of her all time favorite movies that she had seen hundreds of times) with Scott. He comes running to me saying that Mrs, Hannigan had just said GD TWICE in the movie. Of course I didn't believe him, so he replayed the part. SURE ENOUGH she said it as she was chasing little orphan Annie on the railroad tracks. It was VERY subtle, and I had never picked it up in the many times I had watched it. Emily honed in on it though.

Emily has a TON of speech! If you are around her long enough, she know that it is mostly scripted and repetitive. For instance...Every morning when she wakes up, she says to me "How did you sleep"(YOU TALKING TO ME) I
would love to think that she truly cared about my sleep(or lack there of), but unfortunately she is just repeating my words to her over the years.

So while she is talking to me, she's not really talking to me!

Jessica

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Racers, start your engines...

Emily's birthday is coming up September 3rd. Chuck E Cheese has been the winner two years in a row, and I was prepared to book another party. However, she has mentioned several different places recently. Build A Bear, Tree Top Family Adventure, The fair. We have been to Tree Top several times, but she absolutely refuses to get on the go carts. They are just too loud for her. She talks about riding them ALL the time and has been obsessed with them lately.  She even figured out how to get go-cart videos pulled up on youtube.

iJump has indoor go-carts that are electric instead of gas and aren't as loud. I called them the other day and asked if it was ok if I brought her up there before I signed up for a party to see if she would actually get on one. They are single rider carts, so she would have to drive it herself. I had her ABA therapist take her this afternoon and guess what? She was reluctant at first, but she got on and drove around the track! She won't win any races at the speed she was going, but YIPPEE!

PS...And she is officially out of storage space on her itouch now!

Jessica

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Temple Grandin

I went to hear Temple Grandin speak last night at Indian Springs School. Temple Grandin, Ph.D., is the most accomplished and well-known adult with autism in the world. For more information here is a link Temple Grandin.  I equate my encounter with her to that of meeting a Rock Star. She is a fabulous speaker and is quite funny. I will caution those who tell her that they have  medicated their young child with anti-psychotic medication during a Q&A session. She will become somewhat agitated and blast you with a "That's Bullshit" comment that will create instant shouts, claps and cheers among a room full of 450 people! That poor woman...(and no it wasn't me)!

I read two of her books a few years ago after Emily was diagnosed.  "Emergence, Labelled Autistic" and "Thinking in Pictures" I found similarities between Temple and Emily. Temple gives an insiders view of living in an Autistic world. One of the things she mentioned last night was teaching kids on the spectrum, life skills. Vocational skills. Something that can help them succeed in the world after they are out of school. This was something that the Neuropsychologist mentioned to me last summer after his evaluation of Emily. My brain has been in this mode ever since. What can Emily do later in life? There are many articles floating around right now about what will happen to our kids once they reach the age of 21. There will be no school support, there will be no place they can go and nothing they can do. Parents will be left with an adult who can't be left alone.

Emily has loved photographs since she was a baby! I actually said when she was 4, that she would one day be a photographer, because she loved pictures so much. She also loves chocolate, so I narrowed her vocation down to Chocolate Photographer. How fun would that be? She has nearly 2000 pictures on her iPod touch!! I have tried buying her actual camera's, but she doesn't like them much, because the screen is not big enough. My mission is to get her an iPad 2 so that she can take pictures just as she does on her itouch. Not only would the iPad help her with her interests, but there are SO many apps that can help her with the educational skills she has trouble with. I have found valuable apps through a4cwsn that I have put on her itouch. She knows so much more than I ever thought! Sight words that I had NO idea she knew. Hopefully by Christmas, she will have an iPad, so that she can show us all that she knows and sees! BTW...I already have a blog name picked out so that I can share the pictures that she takes!

Jessica

Monday, August 15, 2011

Don't worry...

I am a natural born worrier. As I have gotten older, the things that worried me long ago, now seem so silly. I mean, I seriously use to worry about what I would wear on a date or to a public function. If anyone has seen me in recent years, those worries are LONG gone. I have had to let go of so much worry in recent years and put my faith in a higher power and know that HIS will would be done. Easier said than done at times, but my heart knows this to be true.

We have been to Worship Service at our church nearly every Sunday since they started the special needs ministry in April. Yesterday was Back to School Sunday and the goal was to get 500 people in Sunday School. We decided to try Sunday School since the kids would be moving up to new classes. Perfect time to start. Of course I was a little apprehensive about Emily going into a regular class.  She has not been in a "regular" class in a few years. There were 19 little girls in the class. One was a friend from her Kindergarten Class at her old "regular" school. Emily is a girly girl and longs to be social. Unfortunately most kids she is placed with at school due to her exceptionality and behavior, are boys. It's always her and "her boys" as I call them. She did AMAZING in the Sunday School class with those girls though. Ironically their lesson was about....Worrying! Those who know Emily, knows she is constantly worried about what's next, where are we going, etc. She gets it honestly I guess. So yesterday when they were talking about things they should not worry about, she tells her teacher, that she is "Not going to worry about High School Musical". Now she wasn't really worried about the movie or characters, but whether or not she was going to get to watch the movie when we got home from church. I thought that was a GREAT revelation for her to have!

I hope that one day she will have the ability to look back this time and say, "I seriously was worried about High School Musical." I know that her worries will increase as she matures, but I pray that she will learn to face her fears and earn her badge of Courage just as the Lion did in the Wizard of Oz.

~Jessica~

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

If I Only Had a Heart:Part 2

Second part of blog post that will talk about giving and receiving from the heart.

I have decided to step out of my comfort zone and follow my heart...

Children on the Autism Spectrum often have sensory issues. They vary with each child and can range from mild to severe. For some kids, sensory issues mean, noises too loud, smells overwhelming, too much visual stimuli, food aversion because of texture or taste, or not wanting to be touched. For others, it can mean that they need to smell everything or put everything in their mouth in order for their brains to process the incoming stimuli. Emily has a sensory bag that I made for her to take to school or anywhere we go. It contains items for her to chew on, it has lotions and room spray, it has sensory brushes so that she can get "soft tickles" as well as a light up spinning toy for visual stimulation. She also has noise reduction headphones at school. Last year, she would gag upon entering the cafeteria and refused to eat. The smells and the noise were TOO much for her system to handle at one time. We put the headphones on to reduce one stimuli and she was able to start eating again!

If I had to choose a sense that she had the most difficulty with, it would be smell. She typically smells EVERYTHING! Food, objects not related to food, pictures of food, people. There is not a day that I pick her up from school, that she doesn't have a little marker under her nose from smelling them. We even give her smencils(scented pencils) to write with. If we are in a checkout lane, she will commence to smelling every packet of gum in order to choose the one she wants. Pretty smart way to tell if you may like it, but not appropriate for an almost 9 year old.  We were at Chuck E Cheese recently and she was smelling every game there was. I will sometimes put lavender lotion on her arms and redirect her to smell herself instead of others. Lavender is also very calming for most kids! I know of another ASD child who likes to smell everyone's hair. Even saw her walk up to a bald man once and smell his head! LOL!

A few weeks ago on facebook, I was directed to a page called Buddies for Autistic Kids. This sweet woman, Mary Olson, was GIVING away Scentsy Buddies to children with autism. They are stuffed animals that you are able to put scent paks inside. Calming scents like lavender and vanilla. For those of you who know me, know I LIKE free stuff. I posted on the wall, that I would be interested in getting one for Emily. Completely prepared to pay for it, since I knew this was something Emily could benefit from. She would not allow me to pay for it! She relies on donations and an online open scentsy party to provide these for ASD kids. I immediately went to the open party and bought 3 scentsy paks to help her out a little. I also told her that I would host a basket party. When Emily RECEIVED  her Penny the Pig and I saw how much she loved it and how calming it was for her, I posted pictures on the Buddies for Autistic Kids wall and thanked Mary. She and I spoke on the phone several times and I decided that my heart was leading me to help this woman out in her campaign. Mind you, I had NEVER even ordered anything Scensty until just now!

So with that being said, I am following my HEART! I signed up to become an Independent Scensty Consultant! My goal is too get Scentsy Buddies into the hands of as many sensory kids as possible. I will have an on-going online party,Jessica Lawson, Independent Scentsy Consultant, where people can order Scensty products and ALL  proceeds will go to the Buddies for Autistic Kids campaign. You can also order a buddy and give it to a child who may benefit from it. I have a paypal button on my blog for anyone wanting to donate towards the buddies. They are $25 each and come with a scent pak. I will be having a launch party and all proceeds will go towards the Buddies! I will also need some sweet souls host parties for me! There are excellent hostess benefits. I can even do basket parties for those who don't live near me! I send you every thing you need to have a basket party and even include return shipping postage. I will also be able to do fundraisers!! This is one of the other reasons I decided to sell Scentsy products. So many people need fundraisers to help with medical costs, therapy sessions and equipment purchases. You get 20% of all sales. I will probably be asking many of you to help me along this journey.

Please go like Buddies for Autistic Kids on facebook and see pictures of those who have benefitted from the Buddies campaign! If you have a child on the spectrum, post a comment on the page and we will get your sweet child(age doesn't matter) a buddy as soon as possible! Mary has sent out over 30 buddies in just a few weeks!

Thank you for allowing me to share my HEART...
Jessica

Here are some pictures of Emily with Penny the Pig!



Thursday, August 4, 2011

If I Only Had a Heart:Part 1

"Giving from the heart has beneficial effects upon the mind, body and spirit including health, happiness, and prosperity...."

In sticking with my blog theme, my post today is about the heart...specifically the giving heart.

I like to think that I have a giving heart. People can't come to my house, without me trying to send them out the door with something.  Food, toys, clothes...whatever I have on hand that I think they may like, want, need, I give.  I never think much of it, I just do it. I am sure some of it gets thrown in the next goodwill box. I give our teachers little tokens of appreciation ALL year long. Not because I think it will make them like my kids better(ok maybe a little), but because I truly appreciate the work they do with them. It takes a giving heart to work with kids.

 A few months ago, a fire destroyed the home of a friend in Emily's class. Immediately touched, I set out to get as much gathered up for his family as possible. I posted a request on FB for any used clothing, and what came in was so much more than that. I had friends give giftcards, money, brand new clothing from as far away as TEXAS! I know I am not alone with my giving heart.

When the tornados came through our state in April, like everyone else, my first thought was WHAT can I do to help. So many lives lost and many who lost everything. I set to work gathering up my stockpile items and put to good use my couponing skills. I even attempted to get Boston Butts donated a month after the tornados to feed 8, STILL displaced, families at a local church. I ended up getting a few donated by sweet people and the rest I did myself. A full meal for 40 people. I gave me such a great feeling knowing I was helping a little.

Giving from the heart DOES have beneficial effects! Part 2 of this post will include giving,receiving  some opportunities that I am excited about! I will probably post later today as my kids are in need of receiving attention. Stay tuned...

Jessica





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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

If happy little bluebirds fly...

I have finally decided to join the ranks of those who type their thoughts out and publish for the world to see. Well, maybe not the whole world, but those who care enough to listen to stories about my life raising three kids, one with special needs. I decided to start this blog for several reasons. 1)To raise awareness for children with special needs  2)As therapy for me in dealing with the daily struggles and 3)Because I got so tired of trying to tell a funny story on facebook and getting cut off because my status was too long. I love sharing stories about my kids and often try and find the funny in everyday not-so-funny situations. I am unable to share a story without including every detail of the incident. Facebook does not allow for these types of ramblings unless I edit as a note, and that is just no fun. So Blogging world here I am.

Just a little background information about the wonderful kids you will be hearing about:

Anna Grace is my oldest and is 11 years old. She was born at 26 weeks gestation due to severe preeclampsia. She weighed 1 lb 12 oz and stayed in the NICU for two months. She had fine motor delays as well as sensory processing issues. She outgrew all by the time she was 4. She is my miracle!

Luke is my youngest and is 4 years old. He was born at 34 weeks and weighed 6 lbs 3 oz and stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks. He had no lasting effects of his prematurity and is a healthy, full of life boy.

Emily is my middle child and is almost 9. She was my full term baby and weighed 7 lbs 6 oz. She has been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Tourette's and Sensory Processing Disorder. The running joke in our family is that she baked too long in my oven. Her road has been long and difficult. She definitely did not follow "The Yellow Brick Road".

I love my kids dearly and they are my life. I could not imagine any of them being any different from who they are. One of our favorite movies is "The Wizard of Oz" hence the name of the blog, Somewhere Over the Spectrum. I hope to show you that even though we face a lifetime of uncertainty that "skies are blue, And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true".

Thanks for reading,
Jessica

"If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?"