Today is the annual awareness day to end the use of the R word. I don't speak about this as much as I should. For many reasons. As an advocate for Emily I have decided that this issue is one that I need to address.
I have many close friends and family who use this word. I see it said in conversation after conversation on social media sites. Yet I can't bring myself to say anything to anyone except those closest to me. As an educated and intelligent woman I take great pride when someone tells me my kids are smart. I have spent countless hours reading and talking to them in an attempt to make them brighter, well rounded individuals. One of the early signs that Emily was different was her inability to retain or learn things. Both of my other kids knew their colors before they were 2. Emily was 6 before she learned hers. I was constantly asking my pediatrician about it. I felt like a failure as a mama. It was my job to teach her things and she just couldn't get it. It wasn't until Emily was 7 that she was diagnosed with an intellectual disability. I felt great relief at the diagnosis. I'd spent 7 years blaming myself because she wasn't as bright as my other two.
Growing up in elementary school I remember the "LD" class. I remember the kids in that class clearly. I didn't interact with them much but I knew they were different and slow learners. I also knew that most were diagnosed as mentally retarded. While I was always
intrigued and wanted to interact with them it wasn't acceptable back then.
Emily has a very significant intellectual disability. On a scale of "retardation" being mild, moderate or severe, her IQ is in the moderate range. There will be things she will never be able to do even if she did not have an autism diagnosis. Her intellectual disabilty has caused more behavior issues than the autism itself. It has been one of the more difficult things for me personally to accept. I'm not ashamed but I know how cruel people can be to those whose "elevator doesn't go all the way to the top", "licks windows", "rides the short bus" and is "retarded". It hurts my heart more than anything else when I hear those things. So if you a frequent user of the R-word, please think not only of the individual who tries so hard to be like you, but for the parents who try very hard to make their children be the very best they can be. Different but not less.
