I'm still standing

I came across a quote earlier today that said "On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days is 100%, and that's pretty good."

I immediately started singing "I'm still standing" by Elton John with a visual of an old barn in my mind. I am a bit quirky like that. There are days that I honestly don't think I will get through the incessant talking and questions from Emily and the constant reassuring I do. It's enough to drive anyone crazy. I was successful in getting her to stop asking me questions repeatedly by using a visual with a stop sign. She would ask the same thing over and over every few minutes. However being as smart as she is, she replaced it with something other than a question. A statement. A simple "I love you mama". There are many of my friends who have never heard those words from their kids. I am extremely blessed that she can say them to me. I must respond to her statement with "I love you too." If I do not reply she says it for me and attempts to get me to repeat it. It's a security and attachment issue with her. She only does this to me. I'm not exaggerating when I say repeatedly. This past weekend my brother in law asked me if I had ever tried to count how many times she told me she loved me in a day. It's impossible. If I were to guess I would say 200 at the least. My sister said she would rather her go back to asking questions.

I feel like an old barn at times. I'm still standing at the end of every day no matter how worn and ragged I look or feel. While I sometimes struggle with the mental, physical and emotional exhaustion of raising a special needs kid along with everyday life, I know without a doubt I am loved. Because I hear it approximately 200 times a day. That is enough to keep me standing.

Thanks for reading~
Jessica