A brat who just wanted her toy

One of the reasons I started this blog was to raise awareness for autism. I don't know everything about autism. In fact, I only know how it pertains to my daughter and those I know affected with the disorder.  No two people on the spectrum are alike.  I am the last person to assume anything about any special needs individual. Their needs are special for a reason.

I have always taken Emily everywhere with me. Mainly because I refused to let her exceptionality make us prisoners in our own home. Over the years, we have endured the stares, whispers and eye rolls. Many times I have worried that one of her tantrums or meltdowns would result in cops or DHR being called. Predicting what sets off a person with autism is not always easy. How was I to know she would lose it right in the middle of the shoe aisle at Target when she was 6 and start screaming at the top of her lungs, sending people from all over the store peering around the aisles to see what was going on? To the unknowing observer, she looks like an overgrown toddler having a severe tantrum.

Today I decided at the last minute to take the girls shopping for jackets. While at the store Emily was happy and in her own little world walking in circles and in the personal space of the nice employee helping us. I apologized a few times and tried to contain her to one area. Anna Grace decided to spend her own money on a new bag. Emily saw that she was getting something more than the jacket and decided she needed something else as well. This made me happy as it showed she understands more than I give her credit for. Of course she wanted a tea pot and we were in a outdoor rugged wear type store. She settled for a hair band that she decided to wear on her arm and we were good to go.

Testing the waters, knowing Anna Grace needed some new shoes, we went to the shoe store. Emily wanted new shoes too. They didn't have her size and as sensory minded as she is, I knew there was only one pair she would wear. She didn't say anything, but I could tell the tide was rising. Anna Grace walked out with two new pair of shoes, and Emily nothing. I told Emily we would get her a toy. I needed trash bags, so we walked next door to Big Lots. Ironically there was a group from a local Autism residential center in there with some kids. Completely engrossed in getting my bags and the group, I forgot her toy. Thankfully they had their Halloween stuff out in full display. Emily was fascinated/scared so that kept her occupied while we waited for the group to checkout.

Realizing I forgot her toy when she reminded me, I decided to take the girls to Walmart. On a Saturday. She was asking repeatedly about her toy, but I spied several racks of $1 clothes and told her we were going to look first and then get her toy. Again they had the Halloween stuff in plain sight so she got distracted, walking in circles shouting "Boo!" loudly while I scoured the racks. We finally made it to the toy aisle after stopping to pick up sweats. I was proud she had been so patient. It had been a long afternoon. She chose an accessory kit for one of her babies and we made our way to the checkout with a buggy full of $1 clothing that we probably didn't need, some sweats and her toy. Of course all lanes were packed. One cashier had her light off and closed sign up, but she motioned for us to come on. THANK YOU JESUS I thought.

And then it happened. The thing you never want to happen in Walmart. The thing you don't want to happen when your child on the spectrum is on the verge of a meltdown. The toy would not scan. She tried several times and then set it on the back of the register sending Emily into a near panic attack. The cashier then proceeded to scan all 50 of the other items I had in the buggy all while Emily is asking about her toy, tears forming in her eyes and squeezing my arm with such strength I knew I would bruise. I calmly told Emily the lady would get it for her. Her voice was escalating and I was just repeating myself praying that a full on tantrum on the floor was not about to happen. The cashier oblivious to the fact that Emily had special needs shot her looks the entire time she was scanning the other items. I swear she was taking her sweet time scanning while enjoying the fact that she thought Emily was a brat who just wanted her toy. She finally got back around to the toy and ended up asking me how much it was after more repeated attempts to scan failed. Having no idea how much the correct price was, I spouted out $14.97. I mean doesn't everything at Walmart end in .97? By this point tears were falling down Emily's face and I was just ready to get to the car.

We got home and Emily kept saying "I cried". It clearly upset her that she could not hold it together. It upset me that I failed to acknowledge her breaking point earlier. It upset me that I failed to educate the cashier at Walmart about children like Emily. I don't expect any of my children to be given special treatment. I do however expect others to treat Emily with respect and understanding. She is not a brat who just wanted her toy.

Thanks for reading~
Jessica