Christmas Miracle: Part 2

I was wheeled down to the NICU with a feeling that I had never known. I was about to see my little girl for the first time. It had been 18 excruciating hours since they had taken her from me. Everyone else had already seen her. As I entered the NICU the faces of the nurses is one I haven't forgotten. Their smiles reassured my growing anxiousness, but their eyes told me a different story. What I saw in their eyes was almost heartbreaking. As though they were willing themselves to show joy and happiness for my benefit although they knew what was about to happen. The head nurse of the NICU was a friend of the family and told me that she herself had put in Anna Grace's central line. I was comforted to know that Anna Grace was taken care of by someone who I knew would treat her as their own. As I was wheeled into her pod, I tried not to look at the other babies. I could see her name on the open tray as I scrubbed up. I was so close to seeing her but had to spend what seemed like an eternity washing my hands to prevent germs.

When I finally reached her, I was not prepared for what I saw. It literally took my breath away. My eyes were fixated on her tiny body. After I broke my gaze, I sobbed. The type of sob that reaches down into your belly and feels like your heart is being ripped out. Her skin was transparent. I could see straight through her. There were wires and cords bigger than she was coming from her body. She was on a ventilator so her mouth was covered with tape. She looked like a baby bird just hatched. I wanted so badly to pick her up and just hold her, but because she was so premature she needed minimal stimulation. Too much physical contact(even from her mother)could be harmful to her. I did reach out and touch her ever so gently with one finger. I had to have that bonding. She was just a little longer than a Barbie doll and not much bigger. There are so many things that are not yet formed yet on a 26 week gestation baby.

We were told that the first 72 hours were critical. Every day after that her chances of survival would improve, but there were no guarantees for her future. There were insurmountable odds against her. Brain bleeds, blindness and organ failure were just some of the things we prayed God would protect her from. The day she was born, our Preacher came and prayed over her. He came almost every day for an entire 2 months. It gave me such peace when I would visit and see one of Brother Billy's cards taped to her isolotte. We were told if she survived, we should accept the fact that she would have some sort of disability as a result of her extreme prematurity.

Anna Grace stayed on the ventilator for 2 weeks. Her weight dropped to 1 lb 8 oz but she remained strong and eventually gained minute amounts daily. She was anemic and required several blood transfusions while in the NICU. Aside from that she was remarkably healthy. She graduated from the open tray to an isolotte within a month and started being fed the tiniest drops of food through a tube. She tolerated most feelings. That was another hurdle that we passed. As her weight increased it was time to try the bottle. Preemies have difficulties trying to suck and breathe at the same time. It is a slow process for most. She did fabulous and soon she started to fatten up. As her weight increased she was moved to an open crip to try and maintain her own body temp. After 2 months in the hospital and a month before her due date, we were told she was strong enough to go home. We roomed in for the night to make sure we were capable of attending to all of the needs premature infants have. Check body temp every 3-4 hours, maintain monitor for apnea, feed and diaper as usual. We brought her home on Valentine's Day 2000 weighing 4 lbs 4 oz.

She was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder(Called Sensory Integration Dysfunction then) when she was 18 months old. She received Occupational therapy until she was 4 years old due to sensory issues as well as fine motor delays. She outgrew both by the time she was 6 years old.

Over the past 12 years, I have been amazed at her growth and so thankful to God for the miracle she is.

Thanks for reading,
Jessica