Christmas Miracle: Part 1

Twelve years ago my life changed. I have heard so many people say that when their first child is born. The birth of Anna Grace was no exception. I have told this story many times over the years and am overcome with emotion every time. The feelings and memories are still very vivid for me.

I have always wanted to be a mom. Scott and I had been dating 2 years when I became pregnant. It was not the way I would have liked my fairytale to begin. Despite the awkwardness of having to share the news, we planned a wedding within a month. We were both baptized the week before our wedding. We both agreed that we wanted to enter into the marriage with the Lord in our life. I was over the moon about having a baby. I gave up all soft drinks, ate healthy and took those horrid prenatal vitamins even though they made me sick. I started my pregnancy a little underweight and was told to expect to gain 25-30 pounds. All of my pre natal visits went well and right before Thanksgiving we found out she was a girl(although I already knew and had her name picked out). Scott was really hoping for a boy. They holidays approached and I started feeling a little odd. My face would feel flushed at the most random times. I had already gained a good amount of weight. More than I wanted actually. I worked the week before Christmas and noticed that I had gained 10 pounds in that one week. I complained about it to co-workers who said I was being ridiculous about my weight. I knew it wasn't right because I wasn't eating that much. On Saturday we made a 6 hour round trip to my grandmothers. On the ride home I started to get a headache. By the time we reached my parents house my feet were swollen beyond normal and I felt really bad. We drove home and when we got in I was feeling extremely confused, and could hardly see. Our dog got out of the fence and I just could not function enough to go after him. I went inside and attempted to lie down. Scott called my mom(who is the resident baby aficionado). She said to call the doctor.

They wanted me to come in to labor and delivery. We got to the hospital around 9:30 pm and they hooked me up to monitors which showed my blood pressure was at stroke level and my liver was about to burst. My OB came in from a Christmas Party and I apologized repeatedly for disrupting his night. He ordered a injection to speed up the development of Anna Grace's lungs, told me to rest and he would see me in the morning. Rest I did NOT. I could only lay on my left side to try and lower my blood pressure. When he came around at 7am and asked how I was feeling, I said "Fine. I think I'm OK to go home". He then told me that my life was in grave danger if I did not deliver immediately.  I didn't know much, but I knew that a baby born at 26 weeks was not good. I had an epidural and was wheeled back to surgery at 9am. Because the circumstances were so dire, they allowed my mom and Scott in the delivery room. They prepared them for the worst. They could lose both of us. Because it was such a rush to prep me, my epidural only took on one side. I had feeling! Anna Grace was born December 19, 1999 at 9:38am weighing 1 lb 12oz and 13 1/2 inches long. There was no sound as they pulled her out. She was so long and thin. I remember a team of doctors and nurses whisking her away and me trying very hard to turn to look at her to make sure she was alive. As they were stitching me up I became horribly sick and started vomiting. They proceeded to sedate me and I don't remember much for several hours. When I awoke, everyone was telling me how perfect and beautiful she was. I wanted to go see her so badly but was not stable enough to be moved. The lights had to be kept off and noise to a minimum. They brought me a Polaroid picture and I remember commenting how big she looked. I was unable to see her for almost 18 excruciating hours, until I was stable enough to be moved to a room. I was so excited!

Nothing I had ever read or seen could have prepared me for what I saw...

Stranger Danger

This is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind for sometime now. There are so many stories in the news about kids with Autism and elopement. Emily has never been a wanderer, thank goodness but has been known to run from certain situations.

When Emily was between the ages of 2-5 she had severe stranger anxiety. Looking back it was appropriate for her developmentally. Our entire life was affected by this. It became difficult to go anywhere because of meltdowns. We worked hard to help her overcome these difficulties. She became quite the social butterfly(mostly around adults). In Kindergarten she would take breaks and walk around the school talking to different teachers and staff. She quickly memorized names and would speak to them whenever she saw them. We would go to the grocery store and she would have to ask the cashier what their name was. She went from complete fear to no fear. We welcomed this as it made our outings so much easier. Plus is was cute to see her stick out her hand and say "Nice to meet you."

At the age of 9 her social skills have progressed in such a way I never thought possible. She is still very friendly to all adults including strangers. Her social play with kids her own age has increased as well. It is very heartwarming to see. However, in recent months while watching her approach strangers to introduce herself I have been thinking that there has to come a time when I need to become cautious. She is always with me except for her time at school. I know that she will be with me forever, but I also have a responsibility to make her as independent as possible. I don't know at what point or if I should even attempt to talk to her about the potential dangers that lurk in our society. My typical kids both have an understanding of these dangers. I do not want to put fear back into Emily's mind but I need to know that she will be safe.

She has grown so much and come such a long way...