A Rose in Winter

A Rose in Winter

As the year comes to a close I have found myself reflecting on the past.  While reflections often bring about feelings of nostalgia or joy for me, they rarely bring about a feeling of sadness.  However, I let myself fall into the trap of looking at life through something other than rose colored glasses.  I usually try to find the beauty or humor in every situation, yet I have been unable to do so in recent days.  Today, looking out my kitchen window, I saw one rose in bloom.  Just one single red rose on my three bushes.  It was as if God was redirecting me.  I saw it as a symbol, a reminder, for the way I want to live my life EVERYDAY.  A red rose on a cold and dark day when we are overcome with the challenges life throws our way. 

My New Year's wish for us all is that we find the beauty within ourselves and in every aspect of our lives.  That we stop to smell the roses when we get the chance and that we Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

 

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

Thanks for reading~

Jessica

Blessed

 

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Acts 20:35

 

I have always tried to live my life by this verse.  I have blogged about it before.  I have a passion for helping others and giving back.  It is not often that I am on the receiving end of gifts and always feel uncomfortable taking gifts. 

 

 

Earlier this summer I made a decision to step away from helping others for awhile and focus on taking care of my family.  Helping others had taken time away from the most important things in my life and that was my family.  I felt guilty about that.  I decided to get back to couponing.  Something that helped my family tremendously in the past and that I had neglected for almost a year. Over the course of the summer my grocery stockpile grew and my money saving increased.  However, I still

questioned my decisions and felt a sense of guilt for not being able to help everyone else.  It wasn't long until I saw what I had seen every other time.  HIS plan. My husband's job was at stake yet again. This would be the fourth time in four years that layoffs in his job field had created a change for us. The only option that made sense to us was for him to take a very significant cut in pay to be closer to home and with more job security.  I was so thankful to have the tools I needed to continue to save money.  However, I knew that it would not be without struggle and much sacrifice.  

 

In the past few weeks I have been shown that God does supply our needs. Through faith and amazing friends I am blown away by the generous and kind giving of others.  Today when I got home I was SURPRISED to find a wireless printer sitting on my front door.  This may not seem like much to anyone else, but this gift will help tremendously in helping me save money.  I use my phone as a computer 99% of the time and am unable to print coupons from my phone or Emily's ipad.  Extra coupons mean saving extra money.

 

I was just thinking earlier that we would not be able to help needy families in the capacity in which we have in Christmases past.  In giving back, I will pay it forward and use my gift of getting free food at the grocery store with my coupons to families this year. 

 

I found this idea on Pinterest a while back.  Blessing bags: http://pinterest.com/pin/137711701075381561/

I intend to keep giving as much as I possibly can.

 

I am also still fully committed to giving Scentsy Buddies to kids with autism by selling Scentsy. I have been blessed with an abundance of orders recently that helped me send 16 buddies out. 

 

I am blessed beyond measure!

 

 

Thanks for reading,

Jessica

 

To my friends for the support~ I love you!



3-8-1 Candles Review

A while back a facebook friend asked me to write a review for a candle.  She was willing to gift me this candle in exchange for a review.  This was not just ANY candle mind you, it contained a piece of jewelry inside.  I had some reservations about it, as I am a Scentsy Consultant(wick less scented wax), and haven't bought an actual candle in over a year.  However, as the parent of 3 children, I do love the rare indulgence of a candle lit bubble bath.  Unfortunately since I had not bought a candle in quite a while I had been forced to use those candles you get at the Dollar Tree that are merely for decorative purposes to relax in the tub. 

 

When Lori Dean gifted me the candle, I got to choose any scent from the collection.  There were over 30 scents to choose from and while I was really wanting the Banana Nut Bread, I opted for something more relaxing for my bath time. Cucumber Mint.  I received the candle a few weeks later in the mail.  The packaging was simple, but the candle was well protected.  This was a 22 oz candle in a square jar.  It was HEAVY!  Upon opening it, I was immediately impressed with the overall look and design.  There were two wicks and a bit of glitter on the top.  The design of the label on the jar was very elegant.  I also received a sample of the pumpkin souffle scent tart which was an added bonus.

22oz Jar Candle $30.99


I immediately lit the candle like a kid at Christmas.  Forget bath time, I was eager to smell the cucumber mint right then.  In no time at all, my house was smelling lovely.  I burned the candle for a few hours a day over the course of the next few weeks.  One of the first things I noticed was how even the candle burned.  This was not a cheap candle where you had to dig the wick out of the wax to light it up.  After each burning session the wax leveled out and looked brand new, minus a few inches of wax. 

In all of my excitement and enjoyment over my new candle, I actually forgot there was a piece of jewelry inside the candle that was valued anywhere from $39.99- $1000!  As the candle burned lower and lower, I became increasingly skeptical of any jewelry being in there.  First off, I had no idea how it would survive the heat.  I also saw no evidence of a box or anything inside underneath the wax.  My kids were also growing more impatient with every passing day.  Note to self, never tell your kids there is a surprise inside ANYTHING.  Then we saw it!  It was a little ball of aluminum foil.  So that's how it survives the heat.  I eagerly got a spoon out while the candle was still burning and lifted the foil out.  When the wax hardened, I unwrapped the foil to find the prettiest ring.  Black spinel and diamonds set in .925 sterling silver with a value of $160!!

 

3-8-1 Candles offer a variety scents for their products.  Currently there are 22 oz jar candles that include jewelry, 14 oz jar candles that include jewelry, 14 oz jar candles without jewelry and Jewelry Tarts. There are also some combine and save options as well as gift certificates available.  You can follow 3-8-1 Candles on Facebook or visit their website 3-8-1 Candles.

 

 

  With Christmas upon us, please keep 3-8-1 Candles in mind for your gift giving.  A portion of sales from 3-8-1 Candles goes to support Lyme Disease Awareness. I highly recommend 3-8-1 Candles!

 

Thanks for reading~

Jessica

 

 

 

 

 

It's too loud!

October is National Sensory Awareness month.  Almost 1 in 20 individuals are affected by Sensory Processing Disorder(SPD).  Those with autism or aspergers are at increased risk of having SPD.

Noise is a common issue for many people on the spectrum.  Many everyday sounds that most of us take for granted, cause children with ASD to retreat, hold their ears, scream, or tantrum.  The sound of a bee buzzing makes my daughter hold her ears.  She is verbal and has told me many times that bumble bees are too loud.  She dislikes the sound of the hair dryer.  Bath time routines have always been difficult.   I would have to chase her and practically hold her down when she was younger to dry her hair.  Over the past 10 years she has become somewhat desensitized, however she still holds her ears.  She can pick up conversations from another room.   She has a difficult time concentrating if there are too many noises going on at once.  Rain on the car roof is often too noisy for her.

 

There are many factors to consider when dealing with an individual who has SPD.  We can't control the environment so it makes everyday situations like going to the store or school extremely challenging.  Do we force the individual into an environment that we know is going to create stress and anxiety because of noise?  Do we hope that eventually the exposure will desensitize them?  Do we avoid those situations at all costs to make it easier for them?  For me personally, I have not had the choice of avoiding very many situations that cause stress and anxiety because of SPD for Emily.  She is forced to attend recitals, ball games, and shopping since I have no one to leave her with.  There are times where it is easier than others.  I will say that as she has matured the severity of the consequences of her SPD have lessened.  I am not sure if it is the exposure, or her ability to control her own reactions better, that has made this possible.  I can definitely tell a difference. 

 

I came across a video the other day that gives some insight as to what auditory stimuli is like for someone on the spectrum.  I found it extremely helpful for me in understanding just how SPD affects Emily.  Please listen to this video and put yourself in the shoes of a child on the spectrum who has a hard time regulating their emotions as well as processing noise...What Autism Feels Like 

 

Thanks for reading~

Jessica

National Sensory Awareness Month

October is National Sensory Awareness Month.  SPD(sensory processing disorder) affects almost one in twenty people.  Individuals with autism or aspergers are at a higher risk of being affected by SPD. 

I first learned about Sensory Processing Disorder 12 years ago after my first child was born 3 months prematurely. At 18 months of age she was diagnosed with SPD.  She refused to touch certain objects and refused to eat certain foods based on the texture.  I was directed to a book called the The Out-of-Sync-Child by Carol Kranowitz.  The SPD spectrum is extremely broad, and as I read it, I only concentrated on the areas that my daughter had trouble with.  She received occupational therapy, as do most children who have a diagnosis of SPD.  We were very fortunate that she outgrew all of her sensory issues by the time she was 5.  When Emily was born, she was completely different from Anna Grace and I assumed it was because she was a full term baby.  She put everything in her mouth, smelled anything and was sensitive to sound and sights.  It never occurred to me that she too suffered from SPD and was just on the opposite end of the sensory spectrum from her sister.  It was not until she was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder at the age of 3 that we discovered she had SPD.

Emily with her Scentsy Buddy

For Emily, SPD has been chronic and debilitating at times.  Over a year ago I decided to help those who have sensory issues like Emily, by selling Scentsy and using my profits to give Scentsy Buddies to kids with autism for free.   You can read about it in this blog post, http://somewhereoverthespectrum-jessica.blogspot.com/2011/08/if-i-only-had-heartpart-2.html.

As a way of bringing awareness to SPD, I am giving away ANY item(up to $35) to one person from the Scentsy Fall/Winter catalog which can be viewed online at my Scentsy website. I will announce the winner on October 10th and you will have 48 hours to give me your order.  You can use this opportunity to get something for your own senses or someone you know.  Right now there is a special offer of Buy one Buddy get one free. These make excellent gifts for any child on your list.

Good Luck and Thanks for reading~
Jessica
a Rafflecopter giveaway

A brat who just wanted her toy

One of the reasons I started this blog was to raise awareness for autism. I don't know everything about autism. In fact, I only know how it pertains to my daughter and those I know affected with the disorder.  No two people on the spectrum are alike.  I am the last person to assume anything about any special needs individual. Their needs are special for a reason.

I have always taken Emily everywhere with me. Mainly because I refused to let her exceptionality make us prisoners in our own home. Over the years, we have endured the stares, whispers and eye rolls. Many times I have worried that one of her tantrums or meltdowns would result in cops or DHR being called. Predicting what sets off a person with autism is not always easy. How was I to know she would lose it right in the middle of the shoe aisle at Target when she was 6 and start screaming at the top of her lungs, sending people from all over the store peering around the aisles to see what was going on? To the unknowing observer, she looks like an overgrown toddler having a severe tantrum.

Today I decided at the last minute to take the girls shopping for jackets. While at the store Emily was happy and in her own little world walking in circles and in the personal space of the nice employee helping us. I apologized a few times and tried to contain her to one area. Anna Grace decided to spend her own money on a new bag. Emily saw that she was getting something more than the jacket and decided she needed something else as well. This made me happy as it showed she understands more than I give her credit for. Of course she wanted a tea pot and we were in a outdoor rugged wear type store. She settled for a hair band that she decided to wear on her arm and we were good to go.

Testing the waters, knowing Anna Grace needed some new shoes, we went to the shoe store. Emily wanted new shoes too. They didn't have her size and as sensory minded as she is, I knew there was only one pair she would wear. She didn't say anything, but I could tell the tide was rising. Anna Grace walked out with two new pair of shoes, and Emily nothing. I told Emily we would get her a toy. I needed trash bags, so we walked next door to Big Lots. Ironically there was a group from a local Autism residential center in there with some kids. Completely engrossed in getting my bags and the group, I forgot her toy. Thankfully they had their Halloween stuff out in full display. Emily was fascinated/scared so that kept her occupied while we waited for the group to checkout.

Realizing I forgot her toy when she reminded me, I decided to take the girls to Walmart. On a Saturday. She was asking repeatedly about her toy, but I spied several racks of $1 clothes and told her we were going to look first and then get her toy. Again they had the Halloween stuff in plain sight so she got distracted, walking in circles shouting "Boo!" loudly while I scoured the racks. We finally made it to the toy aisle after stopping to pick up sweats. I was proud she had been so patient. It had been a long afternoon. She chose an accessory kit for one of her babies and we made our way to the checkout with a buggy full of $1 clothing that we probably didn't need, some sweats and her toy. Of course all lanes were packed. One cashier had her light off and closed sign up, but she motioned for us to come on. THANK YOU JESUS I thought.

And then it happened. The thing you never want to happen in Walmart. The thing you don't want to happen when your child on the spectrum is on the verge of a meltdown. The toy would not scan. She tried several times and then set it on the back of the register sending Emily into a near panic attack. The cashier then proceeded to scan all 50 of the other items I had in the buggy all while Emily is asking about her toy, tears forming in her eyes and squeezing my arm with such strength I knew I would bruise. I calmly told Emily the lady would get it for her. Her voice was escalating and I was just repeating myself praying that a full on tantrum on the floor was not about to happen. The cashier oblivious to the fact that Emily had special needs shot her looks the entire time she was scanning the other items. I swear she was taking her sweet time scanning while enjoying the fact that she thought Emily was a brat who just wanted her toy. She finally got back around to the toy and ended up asking me how much it was after more repeated attempts to scan failed. Having no idea how much the correct price was, I spouted out $14.97. I mean doesn't everything at Walmart end in .97? By this point tears were falling down Emily's face and I was just ready to get to the car.

We got home and Emily kept saying "I cried". It clearly upset her that she could not hold it together. It upset me that I failed to acknowledge her breaking point earlier. It upset me that I failed to educate the cashier at Walmart about children like Emily. I don't expect any of my children to be given special treatment. I do however expect others to treat Emily with respect and understanding. She is not a brat who just wanted her toy.

Thanks for reading~
Jessica

Riding in cars with kids(who have ASD)

Riding in cars with kids who have an Autism Spectrum Disorder can be challenging, stressful and dangerous.

Emily has never been an easy traveler. Short distances or long distances. She cried all the time in her infant seat. Transitioning to a booster seat created severe anxiety and she would refuse to be buckled. Kicking, screaming, hitting or pulling the hair of anyone in close proximity. I dreaded getting in the car, and was thankful in those early years as a stay at home mom, we actually stayed home for the most part.

Being away from family however, required me to travel over an hour anytime I wanted to see them. It was "easier" for me to travel to them since I didn't work. Anyone who has children on the spectrum that dislike to ride in cars, knows this creates stress and anxiety not only in the child, but for everyone in the car as well. The constant questions of "where are we going"(even though she knows), "what are we going to do" and "where is it" are repeated non stop on long car rides. Ignoring those questions can cause meltdowns of epic proportions. I have had objects thrown at me from the third row of my SUV to the front seat. Siblings have been hit as well when they become frustrated with her repeated questions and tell her to stop. Not to mention the constant crying and screaming that can rattle even the best drivers. This behavior is dangerous for anyone riding in the car with Emily. Yet throughout the years, I have packed my kids up and taken them on long car rides, knowing full well I am going to be a basket case when we arrive. Preparedness is often the key. Having many sensory items within reach, food for her to snack on and anything to occupy her while we travel helps tremendously and there is always plenty in my car. Thank goodness for her iPad, although I have had that thrown at me from the backseat as well.

Short distances are actually worse for Emily. Emily is in the car for a total of 2 hours every day. Thirty minutes in the morning and an hour and a half every afternoon. The constant stopping and starting of the car can create anxiety unlike any I have seen. School traffic is pretty bad here, as it is most places. Waiting in a line of cars to drop off or pick up one of the other kids causes her to cry and tell me to "go". Unfortunately there is no way around this and many times she will hit her sister or brother as they are getting out of the car to go to school. As a parent there is no feeling worse than sending your child into school after a scenario like that. She is remorseful for her actions although controlling them is difficult. I have no control over the traffic or control over her while I am driving. This can be dangerous again for anyone riding in the car with Emily. I can't tell you how many times I have actually had to stop the car to break up fights and calm meltdowns. I am the parent who stands by my words when I say, "Don't make me stop this car."

We have made many social stories and video modeling over the years to help Emily in the car. I am so thankful for her iPad, because she can access the video stories herself if I prompt her while I am driving. She is unable to read, so the social stories only help to reinforce the appropriate behavior before or after a car trip. My daily car rides with her consist of me constantly reassuring her and answering her questions just to prevent a meltdown. Often just engaging her in conversation is enough to distract her from all of the traffic lights or stop signs that require me to stop the car. This is EXHAUSTING, but there is nothing else I can do. I don't have sitters to leave her with while I do carpool in the afternoons for the other two kids. I don't have a magic wand to make the roads clear.

Traveling with Emily is not always an easy feat, but we keep rolling along...

Thanks for reading~
Jessica